Around Town: Live from JFK's Terminal 2, PART 3

 

If you're just joining me, I'm live updating my attempted trip to Stockholm, Sweden. I'm trying to make it on time to play a show in Hassleholm on 12/30. I left my house at 2:08pm on 12/28. See my previous posts to see how it began.

I was thinking of the probability of all of these things happening in a row to one set of people. Perhaps it's happening to a whole lot and they're just not tweeting about it? I wonder what would have happened if I had famously packed light without snacks, phone charger and computer? Would I be one of those irate ladies causing a scene, getting mad at the Delta employees for something that isn't really their fault?  Blood is boiling 'round these parts with no one to blame. Maybe if Delta didn't overbook flights, it wouldn't have so many standbys to begin with. Better coping mechanisms for disaster can be as simple as extra customer service, a smile, a bottle of water, a cup for the fountain. Anything. Hell, why not free wifi? This Boingo shizzle started crawling around 5am when business started picking up again. I picked up a vanilla steamer from Starbucks and took a 20 minute walk around the terminal to stretch my legs.

Its the home stretch and it's time for Asif and I to check in for our flight. Neither of us are roused too much, we discover that the gate is back on food court side of the terminal. We pick up our things in a huff, abandoning our Croque Madame bunker. It's really warm in here. I see the snow melting outside and the sun is pretty bright. I'm reading online that traffic in NYC is pretty bad still. For the past hour, an attendant had been announcing that a gold ring had been found in the ladies room. I imagine 15 different old ladies attempting to claim it, "Oh, my husband gave me that" or "That was a ring that had been passed down in my family for 4 generations." Of course, I impersonated all of these ladies in a strange Englishwoman's accent to Asif. We attempted to scan our receipts to get boarding passes but the first machine was turned off and the other ran  out of paper. We went to a ticket counter to ask for our boarding passes,

"Hi, our flight was can--"

"Gate 11"

"I'm sorry?"

"Go to gate 11"

Clearly getting frustrated with me, "What do you need?"

"What I was trying to say was that our flight was canceled yesterday and we just wanted our boarding passes for THIS gate to Stockholm. Those machines over there ran out of paper."

"Oh, have a seat."

Freaking lady didn't let me talk ! She had the nerve to get annoyed with me when she assumed the wrong detail about my inquiry. Sure, you've been here all day working, for money. But hey, I've been here for fucking 15 hours with no real compensation except 6 dollars off my overpriced breakfast. Give me a break. Give ME  a break, please.

I'm not huddled under a row of payphones because this part of terminal 3 isn't as high tech as Terminal 2 and this is where the outlets are. Lost souls wander about with chargers in their hands, with longing looks. We are boarding soon and I hope there is in-flight wi-fi. If not, check my twitter until 7:05pm when I will have (hopefully, fingers crossed) taken off for Sweden. Thank you for your comments and tweets, you've provided me with some company during this horrible experience. Signing off, 6:08pm EST.

Around Town: Live from Croque Madame in JFK's Terminal 2, PART 2

If you're just joining me, I'm live updating my attempted trip to Stockholm, Sweden. I'm trying to make it on time to play a show in Hassleholm on 12/30. I left my house at 2:08pm on 12/28. See my previous post to see how it began.

Canceled? My face sank and I started to cry a little. I got up to confirm it, people rushed to the service phones to reschedule. It was a long line. Asif and I started to zone out. I tried to call the Delta service line on my phone so we wouldn't have to stand in line but no dice. I stood in line at the service phones while Asif stayed in the agent line. As soon as a woman hung up, my phone started to ring. Tiny joys. My seat was rebooked automatically, awesome. So was Asif's! Wait....there is only one flight between JFK and Stockholm and it leaves at 7pm tomorrow? I let out a guttural growl after I hung up. The airline agents were handing out food and hotel vouchers and people were leaving the terminal. Hmm, food vouchers for the restaurants that are closed. And hotel vouchers for a discounted room that I'd still have to pay for and would have to take a cab to? Asif and I weighed the options. Do we risk a 3 to 4 hour trip home via the busted AirTrain / expensive cab ride and /or slow subway to sleep comfortably for 4 hours and make the trek back through security? Or do we camp out, sleep uncomfortably but for longer stretches?

Welp, we decided to rough it. I bought a Boingo 24 hour wi fi pass and I've been here since. While Asif slept, I took a shift to watch our stuff. I couldn't sleep anyway, my mind was racing. The terminal was quiet, probably the quietest it will be until I leave. I was very upset. If my flight leaves at 7pm, it will arrive on 12/29 at 9:35am; which is after my scheduled train departure for Hassleholm. I immediately emailed our promoter to see if he can transfer the ticket or get a refund. I'm crossing my fingers that I still arrive in time to catch the 1pm train to South Sweden. This trip is kicking my ass and I haven't even left New York yet. As soon as I made this realization, Nordloef (the guy that's playing the show with us) sent me a link to a front page show listing for our show in the local Hassleholm paper. I HAVE TO GET TO SWEDEN. I had been tweeting and updating Facebook through the day and the comments were dying down, the rest of the world was asleep. I went into the #chipmusic IRC because I knew people would be awake. It was nice to talk to people I knew for a couple hours. As they each drifted off to eventual sleep, I watched the Glee christmas episode. It was rounding 5am and the shops started to open again, new faces were coming through the security checkpoint. It'd be busy again. Maybe I should try to sleep before it got too busy? I couldn't, so I checked my email and felt the glow of the sunrise behind me. I dared not look because I would probably fly into a rage and climb the walls.

Asif woke up from his sleep on the floor and we grumbled together. I mentioned that the restaurants were open and we used the mounted ipads to order breakfast. Minutes later a server came over to confirm our order. It was pretty awesome. I had not even posted the first half of my story when my egg, bacon and cheese croissant arrived with yummy fruit. It was a godsend. Sure it was probably costco croissant, processed cheese and microwave bacon; but it was better than Burger King and Wendy's. My slice of ambiance and faux culture took my rage down a notch. As I was signing the credit card receipt, the pen didn't work. I threw it and Asif could see the crazy glimmer growing in my eyes, "EVERYTHING IS BROKEN AT JFK, EVEN THE PENS! EVEN THE GOD DAMN PENS!" Asif wondered aloud if that was the thing to push me over the edge. He looked worried because he knew he'd be in the line of fire if I ever went postal. Newly energized, I started to write. I was getting loopy, requoting classic literature to fit my story on Twitter:

"So she beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." 

"The terminal was barred by a white bank of snow and the tranquil tarmac leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre—seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness."

Rounding 8am, I started to feel that degree of soreness that you experience after an all-nighter. It was a familiar and almost comforting feeling, that I was getting tired. If I held out for a little longer, I would be so knocked out that I could stretch the time that I slept. And it worked ! I put on my head phones, pulled my hood up and wrapped my scarf around my eyes. I am small enough to fit under the arm rest in a row of chairs, so I was able to lay flat. I hugged my backpack and went for it. I drifted to sleep, cradled by the murmur of people making their way to their gates. I felt a little hand touch mine and a light kick on my leg. I moved my blindfold and it was a little girl, I caught her mid tantrum. She was refusing to take her sinus medicine and accidentally woke me up. I was surrounded. There was a woman sitting at my foot, another at my head and this girl with her grandmother only 2 feet from me. I groggily put my glasses on and sat up looking for Asif. He was at one of the ipads. I moved our stuff to another corner of the lounge and slept like a pipe cleaner; bent in weird ways to mold to the arm rests. I slept a total of 5.5 hours, not too shabby. I spent most of the afternoon writing this missive and thinking about time. How much time was actually wasted while I was here and did my account entertain you in any way? I had no aim except to let it out because if I made it to Sweden with this bottled up inside, I'm not sure I'd enjoy the opportunity or savor the feeling of finally leaving.

Around Town: Live from Croque Madame in JFK's Terminal 2

Hey friends, you'll want to refresh this post, I'm live blogging at JFK!

I departed from my cozy bro-cave in Ridgewood at 2:08pm on 12/28. The roads had not been properly plowed still and I was dragging my keyboard case in the snow like a broken sled. Wheels are useful if you have pavement to roll them on. #lessonlearned. Out of habit, I descended down to the L train and promptly realized that I was on the Manhattan side. This is all fine and dandy except I was supposed to go the other way to Broadway Junction. Good job, Jenn. I had no problem getting up the stairs, it was the opposite bound stairwell that freaked me out. It was not shoveled at all. Treacherous pads of snow became pressed into the metal steps and were slippery. I made it down by clinging to the handrail and slowly banging my case down the stairs. 40 minutes from when I left my house, I was finally on an L train. The trip begins.

The Halsey L stop is not that far from Broadway Junction. The only problem is that after Wilson Ave, the track goes outside--slowly. We lurched past the snowy cemetery, stopped a couple times. People had miserable frowns, I should have taken that as foreshadowing. 

I lugged the case up two flights of stairs and down a long escalator to grab the A train. I couldn't help the nervousness, I read that a train full of people were stuck on an outside track A train for 8 hours the other night with no food, heat or water. It was probably the shortest wait of my day: 20 minutes on the platform. It was a Lefferts Blvd train, I knew that it didn't go to the airport but it was progress right? I watched a lot of confused foreigners step on, looking for other people with luggage. I felt optimistic; NYC should have its shit together by now. There will be no way that I miss my 7pm flight.  It was 3:41pm, the A train was pulling up to Howard Beach. I wasn't that far away from the terminal. I got a call from Asif (who was on my flight to Sweden). Our flight was delayed and not leaving until 9:30pm. It was alright, I figured that I probably would have to stand in line to check my keyboard. The attendants at the station were waving people past the gates, great! I don't have to pay 5 bucks for the airtrain? Thanks! 

Nope. Nope and nope. We were being led to a shuttle bus that took us to the long term parking lot to wait for....just guess! ANOTHER SHUTTLE BUS! Astounding and inefficient, surely this isn't the New York that I know and love? We shimmied down the road, like a sardine can on wheels; trying not to breathe on each other too hard. As I was getting off the first shuttle, a familiar feeling overtook my body and I wobbled. My keyboard case fell out of my hands and I fell off the bus into the snow. Some jackass clocked the back of my head with his suitcase as he was taking down from storage. It really hurt, my head throbbed. I felt nauseated and dizzy. It took me a minute to realize what happened. I sat there, holding my head and crying. What's worse is that no one helped me. I was in the way and people stepped over me, like I was some rotting log. Someone offered to carry my case but he wanted to hurry. I wanted to sit down and regain my sense of balance, so he left me. By the time I felt ok enough to walk, a line of 200 people had formed waiting for this second shuttle bus to the terminals. Wet, miserable and red nosed, I waited. A guy holding a PS3 (unboxed, super weird) kept trying to bribe passing cars to take him to the terminals. Apparently, the traffic was so bad at the terminals that the 6 shuttle buses couldn't get out, they were arriving one at a time. By some miracle, the airtrains started working again. I joined the large current of rolling cases and boarded the train. We were the test train. We went in one direction and stalled, it was the opposite of where we needed to go. I struck up a conversation with a nice boy from Melbourne on his way to Seoul. He asked if my head was ok, he saw what happened from across the bus and couldn't do anything to help me. It made me feel better knowing that someone saw and wanted to help.

It was a delight to speak to a kind person, already the highlight of my day. We got along so well that I didn't notice that we had been sitting there for 25 minutes. A conductor finally came to turn the AirTrain back on and we put-putted down the track. My new friend, took off like a fox out the door as soon as we screeched into terminal one. Luckily, I was on the next terminal stop. I felt pangs of relief, riding the escalator to the concourse.  I stood there waiting for the elevator to take me inside. I checked in on Foursquare at 4:42pm and...the elevator was busted. An English woman exclaimed, "What a rubbish day!" as we slowly belayed down the stairs into the cold. One slip and someone could have gone to the hospital, crushed by cascades of falling luggage. The Delta international check in was unsurprisingly a clusterfuck. I went to a kiosk and I was on my way to checking in until it couldn't scan my passport. Am I on the no-fly list? I will stab someone. I stood in a mildly short line to check in and it was pretty painless. Security was also painless, mostly because no one could get to the airport!!! I ran my eyes around the terminal directory, I needed comfort and I needed it bad. A drink? A nasty bit of fast food? I calmed down by walking around the entire terminal. I brought lunch, I don't need to spend money. Mache salad with rosemary dressing, celery and a cheese sandwich.

As I bit into my salad, I got a call from Asif. He was already in the terminal, too ! What the hell ! He left the city almost 1.5 hours after I did ! Guhhhhhhhhh! He found me in the food court and we shot the shit for a while over a bag of twizzlers. It was around 7:30pm and as of then, our flight was to take off at 9pm. Asif went to find a water fountain and upon return said, "I almost don't want to tell you this, but our flight is delayed until 1am." I went into super Saiyan mode. My hair burst into flames. I needed a drink, that was that. We hatched a plan to get a bottle of Wild turkey American Honey at the Duty Free shop and drink until we have to leave. We were foiled when I discovered that you can't bring your purchases with you, they meet you at the gate. How very terrible! JFK does everything in its power to make you miserable. Since we had so much time, we decided to walk over to Terminal 2 where we spotted a Todd English bar. We settled into the bar stools and happily ordered a drink. I got a blood maria. Was this relief? No. Because as soon as I started to enjoy this drink, the bartender told us it was last call; at 9:04pm. What the deuce is this? More misery. Asif and I laughed. How much more fucked can this trip get? Really?
 
We discovered a snacky kiosk that sold craft beers and we each picked one up. I got a Matilda Goose Island, Belgian style beer. Asif got a Duvel. We retired to the food court once again to enjoy our treasures. Our flight got moved up to 11:45pm and we felt it was a small victory. At 10:15pm, we walked to gate 9 to camp out with all the Swedish people. The beers were kicking in. It was feeling nice, I felt a warm glow around my cheeks. Was it joy or the alcohol or was it being surrounded by gorgeous Nordic people? I don't know. Paradise unplugged when I saw a boy carry two cots to his family, I let out a "OH HELL NAW" and checked the departure screen, a blaring 1:30am take off. They're really toying with us now! I decided to cool off and walk around the terminal again. What would Tom Hanks do? If I were really desperate, I'd gather mustard packets to squeeze onto saltines. When I returned, Asif was sitting at the gate alone, "Hey...where'd all the Swedes go?" Our gate switched to Terminal 2. We lugged our crap back to where we got our drinks and settled into the Croque Madame (where I'm sitting right now). It's a lounge where you can use their ipads to order food or surf the internet. This would be our homebase for the next day, but we didn't know it yet. I had been trying to resist from playing my Dsi and Mario Kart all day, but I needed to play something. Someone stood next to me and say "HEY!" It was Martin (tRasH cAn maN) and he was coming from a 45 hour trip from Sweden. We joked that it was an exchange program. His flight had been diverted to Michigan and he had to stay there overnight. We hugged and he went off to meet his fiancee outside. At that moment, I was clocking in at a 10 hour wait, not as bad by comparison. I was raring down the road as Toad in the 100cc class when a staff person announced that our flight was canceled.


I'm going to continue this in another post, it is getting long ! Keep refreshing http://bltidm.com until I take off on 12/29/2010 at 7pm.

At Home: Christmas Eve in Park Slope

Since I am a Brooklyn lump around the holidays (and not in California), I got invited along to my friend Angela's Christmas Eve in Park Slope. I recounted the main events on our catering tumblr but here are a couple things from behind the scenes. 

Angela (left) crinkles her nose after I ask her to scrape mayo out of jar for our lemon zest remoulade. Sorry, dude.

Cousins and parents break out into a Bruno Mars / Glee singalong during dinner (see below).

Angela's brother, Chris, punches the gingerbread annually. It's a tradition. I helped eat it.

We also had an epic craft beer tasting with meat and cheese pairings!

 In order of light to dark, we had:

•  Wostynje mustard ale
• 'T gaverhopke Singing Blond
• Popperings Hommel Ale
• ESB Fuller's Lukcy 13astard
• Samuel Smith Tadcaster Oatmeal Stout
• Scottish Midnight Sun Dark Porter
• Keegan Ales Mother's Milk
• Hitachino Espresso Stout
• Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout
• Brooklyn Black Ops.

Tweets this Week: Oh god where have I been?

I had such great momentum going with these new fancy blog banners and regular posts before Thanksgiving hit! I'm such a lump now. Well, puppies, it's time to train! By taking a gander at my GoDaddy account, I have this crazy affinity for starting new projects in December. Yes, I still did start a couple more things-- but THIS ONE will remain! Congrats bltidm, you've made the cut (and have the most followers). I was so lax before I made my "editorial schedule." When I imposed it upon myself, I shook a fist at my former self: "Self, you're being an asshole hardass butt-ass. Don't be so strict." I needn't. You needn't. We heedn't. In any case, I'll try to ease back into regularly posting. For now, let's be annoying and post the easiest type of entry (as stolen from TCTD):

• @daniel_rehn Oh man, I wanna go on a food + videogame tour.
• Man, this recipe for chocolate salami got me all excited but found out there was no meat in it. http://ow.ly/3uq6X #LIES
• Hay. RT @theshortsleeves: Video: We’re one of the featured bands on this week’s episode of @Bytejacker on Revision 3! http://ow.ly/3uq2c
• Clocked in 120 puzzles at 4087 picarats at 8hr, 57min, 55 hint coins. #proflayton #christmas
• Haha, first credit at the end of the game is "puzzle master" #proflayton
• Yep. Videogames, underwear and chips. Merry Christmas to me.
• Ang's dad swears he saw a gum drop cloud come out when I burped.
• You can't pluck a naked chicken. #serioustruth
• Workoff family singalong to Bruno Mars & craft beer tasting #wtf #christmas
• Angry Birds? You mean it's not a game about me and @angelaworkoff ? #christmas
• It's troof. RT @sabrepulse: @bltidm and tweet #multitasking
• You know, all these logic games are good practice for soon to be lawyers. #proflayton
• I lost the stylus for a minute, it was stuck in my hair. #proflayton
• GIMME DEM PICARATS #proflayton
• OMG, I just broke out some algebra for Prof. Layton: (3/2 Y - 3) = X
• RT @cheesenbeer: #cnbftw The CNB Gospel According to Ricardo: The 'N' http://ow.ly/1aAART
• Oh, I wrote this. RT @cheesenbeer: #cnbftw The CNB Gospel According to Jenn: The Cheese http://ow.ly/1azprC 
• WAIT ! THERE IS A DLV BREWERY? RT @djoz18: Holla!!! (@ De La Vega's Brewery And Grill) [pic]: http://4sq.com/gvCrXc
• Tried to surprise my doorman with a pate and cheese plate with roasted garlic but he left!
• Sounds so nice! RT @arlenarlenarlen Ginger-lime hot toddy, not bad. Add lemongrass?
• I am ordering expensive fried chicken and not feeling bad about it.
• RT @mareodomo: "I am a huge fan of water, and the name had been floating around (derp) for a long while." @BATHSmusic http://bit.ly/g0cvAD
• H8 RT @nullsleep: Drinking pepperoni, mozzarella and sausage-infused whiskey, eating $50 pizza, & flipping over tables w @8bitpeoples crew.                    
• Guys, Bear & Walrus. Learn something about music today. http://ow.ly/3tkrz
• I am a nut tonight. Spiderman musical accident as told by a piece of bacon and Pikachu. http://ow.ly/3sZRF
• Me three ! RT @tront: Me too! RT @justinbieber: I love music
• Made a video of a rough song by @TheShortsleeves - "Climates" http://ow.ly/3sZoV
• Early #Christmas gifts from my parents: panini grill, chocolate, hand sanitizer & a brand spanking new Casio WK-210 #squee